no other hope for us but that we grow wise

It's really interesting what you say about it with relationships! I also tend not to mind non-intimates assuming I'm a wlw, because it's a queer positioning (especially assuming I'm a lesbian because that correctly gets across to men who see me as a woman that I have no interest in them whatsoever). And I wouldn't be bothered being assumed to be an mlm either, which may start happening when I'm on T and Bowman starts dressing masc. But I would probably not feel comfortable being assumed to be a man with a girlfriend (whereas Bowman doesn't mind that at all, but isn't as comfortable being read as a wlw). It's all very contextual, as you say, and complicated. I think it's interesting how sometimes even people with similarish gender experiences can have strongly different preferences in that dimension.