It's rough. And really when you get down to it, it's unfair to police people on that, because we obviously as people supporting gender equality don't tell *men* that they're less masculine for having soft emotions. In fact there's a lot of "being soft doesn't compromise your masculinity!" in feminist and etc discourse, because it's such an important thing for men to learn and so contrary to what they're taught. But then for masculine non-men there does seem to be this subconscious idea of like, "to be masculine you have to have masculine emotions" in some way. It's odd.